Faceplanting Paradise of Affection
by labbydabbychuu
Summary: He will never let go. He will never give up. This was destiny to begin with. His beloved, always there to comfort him. No one can break them apart. Dino x Floor. Crack pairing. Crack-Tastic Pairing challenge entry. One-shot.


Here is a Dino x Floor crack fic that's an entry for a crack-tastic pairing challenge~ :D Enjoy! Please review.

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The blonde man strode in the halls, glorious paintings and marble antiques flanking the elegant mansion of the Cavallone Famiglia. Men in black suits that caught sight of the male bowed in his presence.

"Good afternoon, Boss", they replied, their voices filled with respect and great integrity. The young don turned to his subordinates. A flash of his smile graced his heavenly features.

"Good morning, everyone. I expect all of you to work exceptionally hard to arrange yourselves for the Mafia meeting this afternoon." He grinned when his men stood up straight, following his command.

"Yes!"

Walking away from the adults, the most prominent Bucking Horse, Dino Cavallone, sauntered off to his luxurious office to get preparations ready. As his subordinates grew farther in the background, things went haywire from there. Everyone outside the Famiglia would have thought the man was perfect and powerful. He was only thirty-two, after all.

Before the young blonde could latch his slender hand on the golden doorknob to his office, his right foot promptly slid in front of his left, causing the boy to trip and fall on his face on the distinct, maroon carpet.

"Gah!"

Flustered, Dino quickly got to his feet and wiped off any excess dirt on his clean, jet black suit. 'How embarrassing', he thought. 'I hope that doesn't happen during the meeting.' Glancing around in content, he continue to stumble off toward the door.

He had already tripped and stumbled several times ever since his departure from his men in the hall. Dino became clumzy when none of the other members of his Famiglia weren't around. In most cases, falling down the stairs turned into a continuum if his subordinates weren't there with him. His combat skills would also slow down drastically, because he would either accidentally wrap himself with his whip, or mistakenly slap people with his weapon if they were nearby. These types of imperfections even caused Hibari Kyoya, a man full of discipline and order, to facepalm in shame.

After yet another fatal faceplant on the carpet, Dino dashed into his office without a second thought, bruises and scratches brandished on the man. Sighing in frustration, Dino carefully shuffled to his wide, luxurious desk, planning to finish his paperwork and reorganize important files. Then again, for the last time, the great influential Bucking Bronco just had to tumble face first on the smooth, hard surface of the squeaky clean floor.

THUMP

Surprisingly, Dino remained on the floor, his body laying in a fetal position. 'No point in getting up for the fifteenth time', he mused. He tried to squirm from the floor underneath him for comfort, which didn't work out so well.

That's when he felt warmth emerge on to his chest, slowly engulfing his whole body. Dino couldn't believe it; was the floor... His floor... Showing him signs of affection?

Dino carressed the floor with the back of his hand, deep in thought. No wonder he tripped almost always 24/7... The floor loved him that much. This must be love at first sight for him. Kissing it passionately and closing his eyes, Dino felt as if he could stay in this heavenly spot forever.

Before his predicaments can go a step further, a knock on his door echoed in his ear. "Boss, The Albero Famiglia has arrived. The meeting starts in five minutes. It will be held in the west wing, three doors down to the right." Footsteps were heard, descending down the hall.

Dino's eyes widened in despair. Time had gone by so rapidly. The young don checked his watch. An hour had passed ever since he had entered his office.

Cursing under his breath, Dino tried to get up from his stance on the floor, only to drop back down, due to a tugging sensation pulling at his right ankle. He paused, unsure of what had just occured.

An idea struck him as he smiled fondly at his newfound lover. Dino pecked the surface softly, enjoying the tingling warmth pulling at his lips. After the luscious experience, he hesitantly stood up, waiting for the grip to plunge him back on to the hard surface. Nothing happened. Relieved and satisfied, the Cavallone successor picked up his files for the meeting, and ran out of his office. Once he stepped a foot back in the hall, his right hand man, Romario, had been waiting, standing against the wall facing Dino.

"Boss," he spoke coolly, "We must hurry off to the meeting room. We shouldn't make our guests waiting for too long."

"Of course," Dino replied, prestinely rushing down the elegant halls of the Cavallone mansion with Romario. It was a huge relief that none of his subordinates didn't witness his lovenest scene with his beloved floor. He secretly smiled in pleasure. They would never find out, either way.

As the Cavallone boss arrived at the meeting room, the occupants sitting in the fancy chairs stood in anticipation. A tall, well-built man wearing a gray suit, with hazel brown curly hair, and jade green eyes responded to Dino with a low, deep voice.

"Are you ready to start the meeting, Dino Cavallone?," he asked, solemn flashing in his eyes. The blonde was all too familiar with Mafia Bosses like these. It was literally a piece of cake dealing with them.

"Certainly," Dino responded, sitting down in a wide chair in front of the room. The rest of the guests sat down as well, confirming the beginning of the meeting.

Throughout the meeting, the Cavallone don couldn't help but glance at the floor more than once, intent on seeking consolation from his dear sweetheart. The Albero Boss took notice of his distracted face, and turned to him in question. "Is there something wrong, Bucking Bronco?," he inquired, raising a diligent eyebrow.

Dino snapped his eyes up from the floor, startled and numb on the inside from embarrassment, staining him all over. "No, it's nothing. Please continue," he replied. Cold sweat came running down the back of his neck. The secret of his love affair with the floor will always stay with him.

Grunting in slight discontent, the Albero boss resurfaced the main topic of the conversation for the meeting. Dino quietly sighed in relief. He was safe, for now.

The next thing he knew, the Mafia meeting was over, and the family members of the Albero mob got ready to leave. Dino rose from his chair and strolled toward the Albero boss, lifting his hand to shake it with the man. The man's jade eyes glanced at Dino's hand, then momentarily took his own for a handshake.

Leaning in, he whispered into the blonde's ear, "I'm still wondering why you were looking at the floor like that."

The Bucking Bronco tensed up. Letting go of his hand, the curly-haired brunette turned to walk away, leaving Dino standing in the middle of the meeting room, occupied with his own thoughts. He must have known somehow-

"Good job, Boss." Romario paced in front of his boss and patted his shoulder. "Well done. Everything has gone as planned."

Dino brought out a rather weak smile. At least there wasn't any further problems about the meeting. No mishaps, though he shouldn't have broken eye contact from time to time with a fellow Mafia Boss. But he couldn't help himself. The temptation to show cherish with the floor was constantly nagging at him. Had he always felt this way?

He shrugged, looking passive. He wouldn't think so. The floor was the first thing that ever showed him love, just the way he liked it. Nothing can separate the two together. Dino might as well get married to it, for all he cared.

As Dino walked toward his grand bedroom, he knew he could spend time with his beloved floor. Grinning happily, he moved to the front of the door, when-

"Eh? Ah!"

THUMP CRASH BONK BOOM THUD

A groan escaped from the blonde's mouth. "Ouch... Ahahah."

The don had been climbing a flight of stairs, but the gripping sensation popped up unexpectedly, unbeknownst to the boss. It resulted with Dino being sent flying down the steps, hitting every corner, and slamming into the surface of the floor painstakingly.

"Heh... My lovely darling sure is obsessive, isn't she?," he asked himself, clinging to the floor as if he was protecting his precious lover from predators. The floor would never leave his side, as long as he could hold on tight to the never-ending growth of yearning for his sweetheart. Their infatuation for each other would never fade. Even as time comes to an end for Dino, he would always watch over the wise and saintly floor, like it was fate to become a partner with it.

Not only that, he realized that he spent more time with the floor than expected. All of those faceplants, bodyplants, every single planting that includes your body that you can think of always connected with the floor... Which fortunately beats the number of times with the stairs and the ground, by half of the time he was a klutz without his subordinates.

A wide smile spread across the blonde's face, before he closed his eyes as sleep and wonderful dreams of his lover captured him and took him away.

"I love you, my lovely floor."

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

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The next day, Romario headed for his boss' room, making sure he wakes up for breakfast and more paperwork. There would most likely be accidents of the boss falling out of his bed, knocking things over, and whatnot. Sighing heavily, his boss would surely have a lot of work to finish before the end of the day.

As the distinguished right hand man of the Cavallone Famiglia ascended up the stairs, the scene that shone before him made the man hesitate in shock. The Bucking Bronco was sleeping on the floor below the stairs, a grin on his face. The blond was sufficiently rubbing his cheek against the hard surface of the floor, as if he was a child cuddled up with his favorite blanket.

Romario facepalmed in embarrassment and misery. He considered calling Reborn for this unfortunate situation, once Dino woke up from his strange slumber.

"Time to get a move on, Boss," Romario mumbled, waving his family members over to the sleeping blonde, to carry him back to his bedroom.

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So there you go~ I decided on Dino x Floor, because I just love this crack pairing so much~~ And just so you know, Enzo's not in this story because I wanted this fic to only be solely based on this beautiful crack pairing~~ It's pretty short, but I'm still hoping you like it~

Please leave a review~ Sayonara, for now!


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